What you resist, persists
Six years after my accident, my right arm began to ache. In fact, it was so painful that I thought it could possibly be a stress fracture.
“Don’t worry”, the doctor told me, “probably just a strain, try to rest it.” she said.
Well, I had a baby to care for at the time, so resting an arm was out of the question. It got to the point where I couldn’t even lift a tea-cup. “Do you think we should have it x-rayed?” I finally asked on my third visit to her.
We did, and to everyones surprise, my right arm was broken! “How could this be possible?” I asked, “after all this time!”
As it turned out, my arm was still broken when I left the spinal ward after almost six months! I then needed more surgery to fuse the bone together with a metal plate.
“Didn’t it hurt?” was the question most people asked. Well of course it did, but so did everything else in my body! After all, what is a little old broken arm when the rest of my injuries reads like a list of horrors…broken neck and back in six places, five broken ribs, broken collarbone, broken arm (still!) broken bones in feet,head injuries, major lacerations to legs,torso, massive blood loss…the list goes on.
I tell this story to illustrate a point. Many people have tweeted me over the past few weeks asking me to blog about pain, something I feel I have the credentials to do confidently. I thought about my arm and all those years it was broken without me knowing, and the things I did with a broken arm. Not only did I learn to fly and get my commercial pilots licence, but I flew aerobatics, which required me to pull on the stick of the aircraft with quite a bit of G-force…all with my broken arm!
Yes, it hurt, but I was so focused on flying and getting my life back, that It didn’t bother me. It wasn’t until I slowed down that it got my attention. By that stage I had accepted that pain was a part of my life, so I just got on with what I had to do, which was flying, and I learnt to channel my pain in another way.
I live with chronic pain on a daily basis and I have developed ways to deal with it, and to maintain a quality of life that means it does not exclude me from doing anything I want to do.
While pain is never desirable, we can however use it for valuable lessons in life. I have chosen to see my injuries and pain as a symbol of what my life represents, and it has given me the most extraordinary opportunities for inner growth and freedom.
Let me say that pain is a complex issue and we need to distinguish between the two types of pain, physiological and mental/emotional. As emotional reactions to pain differ from person to person, much of our mental anguish comes from our desire to suppress our pain. The more we fight against it, the greater it becomes, the more energy we give it. In the words of Carl Jung, “What you resist, persists”. So rather than focus on my pain, I focus on my wellness and what my body allows me to do.
Mathhieu Ricard writes about pain and suffering from the buddhist perspective and details various methods to manage pain. Use of mental imagery, awakening oneself to love and compassion and developing inner strength are all ways to transform ones mind. I have, at varying times, used all three as well as other methods.
There may not be a ‘cure’ for chronic pain, but from experience I know that it need not prevent us from leading a fulfilling life or prevent us from achieving inner freedom. And I know it is going to take more than a broken arm to stop me!
Love Janine
To realize that pain is an unavoidable fact of life is a lesson for all of us. The deeper lesson is from individuals like you, Janine, who overcome chronic pain and choose not to allow it to dictate your life. Thank you for setting the example for all of us!
Thanks for the feedback Joe! It is an honor for me to be able to share my experiences with others. Knowing that we are never alone always gives us hope no matter what we may be facing. Much love, Janine.
In a world filled with pain we forget that pain is a very personal issue.Your strength, courage, and wisdom has shown after reading all three of your books just how much you have grown from this life altering accident. You could have given up, you could have constantly blamed others, you could have stayed stuck and never realized that their was a greater plan for you.
But you took your pain and embraced your life and went on to do many great things with life in spite of your pain. And while the physical and emotional pain is the scars that we carry for life. The wounds do heal and we are left with something more. It is called Victory.
In Love and Light My Friend
Mary Kay
Thanks Mam…Your words always encourages me to overcome my obstacles. Once I used to be very complaining about being physically weak, being ill every second day…but more I complained and focused around illness more I got it…But today I focus on the kind of life I always want…and don’t let the fear of illness steal a single moment from my life.
Thanks Sourav, you have a wonderful attitude! Keep reaching for the stars! Love Janine
Thank you Mary Kay for your kind words of support which I appreciate so much. We all need to know that we are never alone, and if I have helped even one person through the sharing of my story, then it has been worth every inch of the pain! Much love Janine
Janine; your words are inspiring. I have lived with chronic pain since 1987 - a car accident, and later a chiropractor’s mis-manipulations of my neck.
Just getting better sleep these days helps reduce the pain tremendously. Not all things have such a simple solution, but sometimes a simple solution works.
Hugs.
Glenn
Janine,
Thank-you for sharing your story. I happened to pick up a copy of Success this afternoon a book store. I was caught by this woman who “could not walk so learned to fly!” I searched the web as soon as I got home to find more and order your book. I look forward to knowing you better –already you give me hope as I embrace my hills
Love, Jamie
Hello. I think the article is really interesting. I am even interested in reading more. How soon will you update your blog?
Knew you a long time ago. Along with your sister Kelly in High School. You probably do not remember. I only attended Cumbo one year. (Kelly’s Year 12 class). Last I saw you, you had a trip to the US planned (end of year 11)
Been living in the US for 20 years now. Read your story when I saw a note on the Cumbo Facebook page that you are now an author. That’s when I looked up your book then read about what’s transpired in your life since HS. Had to leave you a note about great a person you are and how inspirational your life experiences are. Such a coincidence that you live in Avalon. It’s where my wife and I lived before moving to Nth America in 89. Take care, Janine.
Hey, great post, really well written. You should write more about this.
Hey, have you seen this news article?
New details about Michael Jackson’s Death Emerge
I was wondering if you were going to blog about this…
Thanks Mike, I appreciate your comments. Blessings Janine
Hi Danny, thank you so much for your comment. Wow that is going back some time! Hope all is well for you and I really appreciate you taking the time to catch up. Blessings Janine
Thank you Jamie, I appreciate your comments and I hope you keep tackling those hills! Will connect again soon! Blessings Janine
Thanks Glenn, I know you relate to so much of my story and I appreciate your continual support. Blessings Janine
Hi Michael, I am just starting to blog on this now. Stay posted! Janine
How soon will you update your blog? I’m interested in reading some more information on this issue.
Dear Janine,
I “discovered you” through Sourav Gosh, whose attitude is also remarkable and who is an online friend from twitter and blogs.
I congratulate you on your incredible courage and emotional intelligence, your endless energy and love for life! You are a beacon to a lot of people, and I would love it if you also became my friend and checked my twits and blog.
I am going to start following you.
All the best and BEST WISHES,
Maria Carmo
Thank you Maria for your kind words of support. I will also follow you and will check your blog also! I look forward to connecting with you soon! Blessings Janine
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I’ll be subscribing to your blog and I hope you post again soon!
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Saurooon
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Saurooon
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